Those who wish to appear wise among fools, among the wise seem foolish.
Quintilian, De Institutione Oratoria
Half the money I spend on advertising is wasted; the trouble is I don’t know which half.
John Wanamaker (1838 - 1922), (attributed)
Action is eloquence.
William Shakespeare (1564 - 1616)
The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
Albert Einstein (1879 – 1955
If you want creative workers, give them enough time to play.
John Cleese (1939 - )
Whatever thy hand findest to do, do it with all thy heart.
Jesus Christ
A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.
Sir Winston Churchill (1874 - 1965)
Men stumble over the truth from time to time, but most pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing happened.
Sir Winston Churchill (1874 - 1965)
Now this is not the end. It is not even the beginning of the end. But it is, perhaps, the end of the beginning.
Sir Winston Churchill (1874 - 1965), Speech in November 1942
The price of greatness is responsibility.
Sir Winston Churchill (1874 - 1965)
Never hold discussions with the monkey when the organ grinder is in the room.
Sir Winston Churchill (1874 - 1965)
We make a living by what we get, we make a life by what we give.
Sir Winston Churchill (1874 - 1965)
Well cover me in eggs and flour and bake me for 40 minutes
Blackadder
Blackadder:
- The path of my life is strewn with cowpats from the devil’s own satanic herd.
- Everything goes over your head x you should go to Jamaica and become a limbo dancer
- Ha ! I laugh at danger and drop ice cubes down the vest of fear.
- “Something is always wrong, Balders. The fact that I am not a millionaire aristocrat with the sexual capacity of a rutting rhino is a constant niggle.
- Needs must when the devil vomits into your kettle.
- We’re in the stickiest situation since Sticky the Stick Insect got stuck on a sticky bun.
- As a reward, Baldrick, take a short holiday…did you enjoy it?
Baldrick:
Hear the words I sing,
War’s a horrid thing,
But still I sing, sing, sing,
Ding a ling a ling.
Well, Mr Blackadder always says, when the going gets tough, the tough hide under the table.
“Baldrick, your brain is like the four headed, man-eating haddock fish beast of Aberdeen”
“In what way? “
“It doesn’t exist “
- Edmund & Baldrick
“They do say, Mrs M., that verbal insults hurt more than physical pain. They are of course wrong, as you will soon discover…when I stick this toasting fork in your head.”
- Edmund
“Have you ever been to Wales, Baldrick?”
“No, but I’ve often thought I’d like to.”
“Well don’t, it’s a ghastly place. Huge gangs of tough sinewy men roam the valleys terrifying people with their close harmony singing. You need half a pint of phlegm in your throat just to pronounce the
placenames. Never ask for directions in Wales Baldrick, you’ll be washing spit out of your hair for a fortnight.”
- Edmund & Baldrick
Baldrick, you wouldn’t recognize a subtle plan if it painted itself purple and danced naked on a harpsicord singing ’subtle plans are here again’.
- EB, “Blackadder’s Christmas Carol”
I fear the words “I have a cunning plan” are rapidly marching towards this conversation with ill-deserved confidence.
- EB, “Blackadder’s Christmas Carol”
“Tell me, Brother Baldrick, what exactly did God do to the Sodomites?”
“I dunno, but I can’t imagine it was worse than what they used to do to each other.”
- EB & Baldrick, “Blackadder’s Christmas Carol”
I can’t see the point in the theatre. All that sex and violence. I get enough of that at home. Apart from the sex, of course.
- Baldrick
“I want my mother.”
“Ah, yes Baldrick. A maternally crazed gorilla would come in handy at this very moment.”
- Baldrick & EB
“Ah, Blackadder. Started talking to yourself, I see.”
“Yes…it’s the only way I can be assured of intelligent conversation.”
- Melchett and Edmund
“I don’t take kindly to insults”
“Funny, with a face like yours, I’d have thought you’d be used to it by now.”
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